Humans rely on delusion — above all — to achieve and ultimately deal with mortality.
Does a person want to be loved for who he is? Perhaps. I say, if one is loved for who he is, there may be no way out of a situation … without proper cause, and thus he is trapped. Being trapped can mean shortcomings for sure. However, I believe it is at the core of human nature, that we need an out: a justification for our mistakes, our shortcomings. Or at least the need to believe we have options as opportunities arise. This need to justify our actions has its basis in the delusional and sycophantic nature of human nature. Humans rely on delusion — above all — to achieve and ultimately deal with mortality.
Therefore, if a person is not loved truly for who he is (real or perceived) — but instead loved for the mantles that cover him … the doing, the having, or the promise of these — there is, ironically, a great amount of hope. In this context, considering that one is not truly loved for who he is, when the individual betrays, when he strays, it is justified. People might say, “I do understand, because he was never loved for who he really is.” And what may have been considered villainous and inappropriate behavior is suddenly considered with compassion. The behavior is justifiable.
This confused individual has a perfect out from any wrong doing, because the love he received was not based in anything real in the first place. In this delusional position, the individual’s behavior is moralized and new stories are told to justify the inappropriate behavior. The ultimate “out” being a place where there exists the potential to experience that which the current situation cannot allow (real or perceived).
But what really has this individual become, and what really is his potential for true love, either here or there, for himself, for someone else? Is delusion needed to catapult a person, eventually, into his full potential? Is delusion the buffer between internal and external reality? I say it is the latter, and add that the width of the individual’s buffer between internal and external reality is equal to the degree of his delusion; the more delusional, the wider the gap.
At a point, it’s probably too overwhelming for the majority of individuals to risk a change of course, to lessen the gap, and the delusion can only increase. Consider Fyodor Dostoevsky’s words in his novel, The Brothers Karamazov:
Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures (Dostoevsky, 1880).
We are a shadow, a thought, a glimpse, a moment, a smile, a joy, an argument, gift, a challenge, a heartache, a birth, a love affair, a marriage, a divorce, an engineer, a husband, a friend, a mother, a cough, a tickle, a musician, a dancer, a poet, a teacher, a death. All hopeful expressions; some unnecessary, some mandatory.
We are a moveable feast that can never be “essentially” caught, as much as we try, because essence is not a thing, it is an expression. To even be an approximation of real requires a lifelong commitment to challenge enough everything we think. Because the truth cannot exist without a constant reconciliation between the internal and external realities. To think that truth is needs no reconciliation is, to me, irresponsible. Nothing really works without appropriate challenge. As any great thinker has said: “You should not believe everything that you think.” Because observation of essence and essence are two different things. Reconciliation is key, and one must challenge and observe self to express self, expression being a largely “unpredicitive.”
That said, I believe the key is to love all that we can. And think. A lot. And laugh. A lot! At how little we actually control.
Next topic: Conspiracy Theory, the Great Delusion Where all Delusions Lead. Delusion is optional; humor is mandatory!